Alchemist Family Vacation
by Alleybell
Summary: Ed should've stayed home,but he couldn't let his foster parents, Roy and Riza, and his snarky foster sister, Winry, soak up the sun without him to bug them. Now he's stuck spending his summer stuck with nutcases.EdxEnvy Future Lemon Warning
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"Winry you stop hitting Ed this instant!" Roy yelled at the petite blond. Their constant arguing was about to drive him insane. _Really, Ed and Winry are sixteen years old. I shouldn't have to break up these petty fights,_ he thought. "If you don't I will turn this car around and none of us will ever go to Disneyworld. If I have to stop driving and pull over because of you two brats I'm gonna be pissed." Of course this threat didn't convince Winry to stop. All of Roy and Riza's adoptive kids, with the exception of Alphonse, seemed to take delight in doing the exact opposite of what their father said. So she just kept hitting him continually.

" I told you that fat joke would make her angry, Brother," commented Alphonse. Edward's screeches of pain grew louder and louder with every hit. The bickering between the childhood freinds had become louder then the radio so Riza decided it was time to step in since Roy's protests seemed to only fuel the fight. She snatched the hardback book out of Winry's hand and turned back to glare at the three siblings.

"Now all three of you are going to be on your best behavior for the rest of this trip. First, Ed, you know when you say things like that to your sister she's going to hit you. So think next time." Winry smiled the whole time he was being reprimanded. "Second, Winry, next time your brother wants to be a moron let him. He'll stop saying dumb things if he can't get a rise out of you. And Alphonse, don't let them kill each other please." she turned around as she finished her last statement, reclined the front passenger seat all the way back, and closed her eyes.

"Are we there yet?" Edward asked. Roy just ignored him in the hopes he'd be distracted by something shiny outside the window. Unfortunately, Roy had no such luck. " Hey, when are we getting there?" he asked while poking the half asleep man to get his attention. When he continued to be ignored he decided to just keep getting more obnoxious until he got a response. " Did you hear me old man? I said when are we getting there?" At this Roy pulled to the side of the road and he lunged for Ed.

"We will get there whenever the hell we get there! Maybe it'll be tomorrow. Maybe it'll be tonight. It might even be next week if we keep having to stop for your stupid bullshit!"

Riza thought now would be the perfect time to share the good news. "Actually, we're only about an hour away" she announced. The whole car erupted into cheering within mere seconds.

Edward stepped out of the vehicle into Orlando's blistering hot June sun. He resolved to take off his bright red jacket left over from his real father before he had abandoned his dying wife and sons in Reesombol. Ed realized it would look not only ridiculous, but childish to insist on wearing the memento in this heavy humidity. So he stuffed on top of the pile in his already over flowing duffel bag and followed behind Roy to their hotel room.

Winry jumped down onto the king sized bed as soon a she set eyes on it. Lying spread eagle to take as much space as her small frame could, she claimed the largest bed as her own. " What!" Al exclaimed. " I kinda wanted that bed and I should get it sense I'm the biggest."

Ed's ears perked up at hearing the word biggest. "Are you trying to make fun of my height again?" he whined.

" Weren't you kids best freinds when you were little? You guys should learn to compromise," suggested Riza.

" How about you and Ed take it tonight and I'll get it tomorrow,"said Winry.

"Now you kids need to get cleaned up. We're meeting Izumi in an hour for dinner," announced Roy.

Author Note: So kids, what do you think so far? Envy will be appearing next chapter so stop back next week to watch the drama unfold! I know that your're wondering why this story is rated M. This is due to the events in later chapters. So write a review so I can send you imaginary air cookies.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If I owned such a money making show I'd be back in Miami in a heartbeat.

Chapter Two

Edward tried as hard as he could not to show how uncomfortable he was in fancy places like this. Reesombol was a small farming community in the middle of nowhere. Going from the sticks to the concrete jungle his step parents lived in took a whole different kind of strength. The type he didn't learn from sweating on the Rockbell farm when the old hag of a slave driver was still alive. And the years they were stuck in an orphanage after their parent's death weren't exactly full of cultural education and diversity. He still hadn't gotten used to stepping out in Roy and Riza's elite world.

Ed was interrupted in his thoughts when Izumi announced her arrival. Striding through the throngs of uppity people was a lady who looked more out of place then Ed felt. She could be spotted from a mile away in a plain white tunic and black slacks, but she didn't seem to care. At least the boy who was following her tried to blend in more with the cocktail party cloud, although he wasn't very successful. His thick, black unruly hair seemed to refuse to stay in it's ponytail and his stiff new dress shoes put an awkward hitch in his gait. He was the exact opposite of lady he was shadowing. Discomfort was written all over the guy's face. It didn't even seem like he was trying to hide the embarrassment at how out of place he was.

"Glad you could make it Izumi," said Riza. "Have a seat and we'll order." The waiter came over before everyone could even introduce themselves. After the pudgy man was called to wait on a young Italian couple the group was finally able to catch up and introduce themselves.

"These are the kids we told you about over the phone: Edward, Alphonese, and Winry," Roy said while pointing to each one respectively. "Kids, this is Izumi and…?"

"Oh, sorry, this is Mitchell Envy. He's a student staying with me over the summer."

"Hi," he said, clearly unenthused.

Once all the introductions were over and the food came Edward started to relax. The festive atmosphere around the table helped him to forget the uncomfortable surroundings and the nearly choking tie. The adults seemed to having a wonderful time reminiscing over memories of training together as teenagers. "Remember that time you sent as to a deserted island with nothing but a knife and a piece of flint," Riza commented. Not everything was coming up roses where the four teens were gathered. Conversations where stunted and uncomfortable thanks to the edition of Envy to their tight knit group. All the guy did was shoot what seemed to be dirty looks at Edward. And every time Ed looked over in his direction to catch him in the act he would turn away before he could call him on it! The entire table was able to feel the burning dislike Ed already had for Envy.

Ed was glad to have been able to excuse himself when he did. _One more minute of that creepy kid staring at me and I would have had to hit the bastard! Who does that creep Envy think he is?Staring at me like I'm some piece of meat! _Ed thought. By now he had worked himself up into a frenzy. The more he tried to calm himself down the more worked up he became. "I should go out there and kick his ass," exclaimed Ed out loud accidently.

"Who's ass are you gonna kick?" said a raspy voice that could only belong to Envy.

Ed turned around and glared at him, but it was hard to do while trying to fight off the shivers of what he assumed where fear that were crawling up his spine. "How about yours you damn creep?"

The most manipulative, evil smile passed his lips. "Whatever do you mean Edward? We've hardly talked."

_Okay, this guy is asking for it _thought Ed. He clenched his fist and lunged straight for Envy, but he was able to grab his wrist before his punch could connect. Before he had a chance to react Envy had a hold of his other arm. He held back a gasp of pain as his back collided with the edge of the sink. Using the counter top to steady himself Ed raised himself back up. "What the hell is your malfunction? Do you have some problem with me because you've looking at me like you want to take me on all dinner."

At this the small evil chuckle that had been building up in Envy's throat escaped. "You're not that bright are you shorty? I want to take you on, just not in the way you're thinking," he explained. And before Ed could counter his remarks Envy walked away.

The tension in the air was palpable throughout the rest of dinner. Edward was so flustered he didn't even eat the other half of his thirty dollar meal. He just sat there silently, pushing around his food and not making eye contact with Envy. He was so lost in his rage that he hadn't even been paying attention to the conversation that happened to involve him.

"So Edward, think you can stand the sun long enough to have the privilege of training under Izumi?" Roy asked.

"Huh?" he replied intelligently.

"If you're going to study under me you'll have to pay better attention if you don't want to get killed during practice," stated Izumi.

"Umm… Sorry," said Ed as he attempted to regain his composure. "So you're a martial arts teacher?"

"Well it looks like you have been paying attention," Izumi replied. "Yes, with a focus on aikido and kendo."

"She taught both your father and I. She is the best in the nation," explained Roy. "If you hope to follow me into the higher ranks of the military you have to learn from the best."

"I may not be able to tell you what to do with your own family, but do you really think it's best to encourage him to live the life of a military puppet?" retorted Izumi.

"I just want him to be able to excel if he's to choose this path," Roy replied.

"Humph, well once this little trip to visit the mouse is over you and Alphonese will come stay with me and some of my other students down in Miami for the rest of the summer," she explained.

"What about Winry?" asked Al.

"I have an engineering camp to go to a week after we get back from vacation," she explained. The rest of the dinner was uneventful up until dessert came around. This caused a dangerous level of boredom to build up in Envy. So when he saw caramel colored fried ice cream he decided it would look great on Ed's brand new white shirt. He had noticed that the waiter was a bumbling, graceless ditz which fit perfectly into Envy's plans. Since the restaurant was clearly understaffed tonight he had to carry more then he could handle at once just to keep up with the workload. The opportunity was too perfect to pass up.

The waiter was completely unaware that walking where Envy's legs could reach would set in motion a series of events that would scar Edward for the rest of his life. Completly oblivious to the mayhem he would cause as he carried a try with seven bowls of caramel ice cream right in his direction. With one swift motion of his thin legs the man stumbled over and watched the tray slip right out of his hands to collide with Alphonese.

"Ohhh my gosh, I'm so sorry," said the waiter as he cleaned up the mess. "If there is anything I can do to make it up to you."

"It's okay, I'll just go clean up in the bathroom," said Al as he walked away.

_Damn, _thought Envy. _I was so close to giving him an excuse to take his shirt off._

They all waited outside by the fountain and surrounding palm trees for Al to get done cleaning up. Edward decided this would be as good a time as any to confront Envy. "What is your beef with me," he asked. Envy opened his mouth to reply, but Ed cut him off. "I know that your little stunt in with the ice cream was meant for me. So let's just cut the crap okay. Why do you hate me?"

Envy looked around and saw that Roy,Riza, and Izumi were engrossed in conversation on the other side of the fountain. So he took hold of Edward's wrist and led him to a patch of trees only a few feet away. He could feel the tree bark scratching him through the thin shirt. This time Envy was unable to stop his fist from colliding with his jaw and he was sent stumbling backwards. Envy quickly regained his balance and lunged for the smaller boy, but Ed didn't feel the punch he had braced himself for.

Instead Edward was on the receiving end of a whole other kind of attack. Envy planted the harshest, roughest, most brutal kiss on Ed's lips. Poor Edward was so shocked that he couldn't even move until Envy pulled back and let him catch his breath. "Do you get it now,shorty? Or do I need to explain again?" he asked.

Author's Note: I know I'm such a tease by making you wait for it, but wait. Are you saying you don't want to wait? Then press the magical review button below. Tell me what you loved, what you hated, or just say hi.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

There wasn't enough soap and toothpaste in the world to get the taste of Envy out of Edward's mouth. _He should just consider himself lucky that we had to leave otherwise…_but he was jolted back to reality with a knock on the door.

"Come on," said Alphonese. "You've been there for a half hour. Please come out. Everyone's waiting on you to use the bathroom." When Al got no response he pounded on the door even harder.

"Just give me a second!" snapped Ed. The next minute he was running to the bed they had to share. Al just stared at his older brother wondering what had set him off. After cleaning up Al flopped down next to Edward. He could tell that Edward was only pretending to be asleep. Since everyone else had already crashed that meant that Ed was trying to avoiding getting questioned by Alphonese.

"Brother, are you awake?" No response came. Al knew he would have to take drastic measures to get Ed up. "Winry! It wouldn't be fair to hit him while he's sleeping!"

This caused Ed to nearly fall off the bed. "What! Hey Al! That's not funny!"

"I had to get you to stop faking somehow. You've been acting funny since we left the restaurant. Did something happen?" he asked.

"No, I'm just tired," Edward replied. Confiding in others (even his own family) had never been one of his strong suites. He was just glad that Alphonese was too tired to question him any further.

Al did not appreciate the position he woke up in the next morning. Face down and blanket-less on the thinly carpeted floor wasn't exactly his idea of comfortable. He figured he might as well shower and get dressed since it was already six-thirty. _Did I just fall off? Or did Ed shove me in his sleep? Neither of us have ever really moved around in our sleep_, Al wondered. His question was answered when he looked over at the bed he was supposed to be in to see his older brother squirming around on Al's side of the bed. _I've never seen him do this before. Is he having a nightmare? _Then he saw Ed's mouth open like he was about to start talking in his sleep. As far as Alphonese knew he had never talked or moved in his sleep before. Edward had always slept so deeply that Al used to check for breathing.

Usually Alphonese would've felt guilty for listening in on his brother, but his curiosity got the better of him. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath as he waited for his brother to speak candidly. "En…"Edward muttered. "You're in…Envy." He let out the last few syllables with a sigh and rolled back over onto his stomach.

_Is he talking about that guy we met last night? _Alphonese wondered. _And what did he mean about being "in"? It must be one of those dreams full of random stuff that doesn't make any sense._ Al got up and walked away before he heard Edward's confession about that night's events.

Breakfast was surprisingly uneventful, but Edward still stayed on his guard. He spent most of the time watching the crowds for any sign of Envy. _I thought he'd be easy to spot even in a crowded restaurant, but there are so many freaks here even he'd fit in_, thought Ed. _Izumi shouldn't have dumped him on us! And how could Roy have just agreed to let him tag along?_

Izumi's words kept playing over and over again in his head. "He really had his heart set on going," she said. "I don't think he ever really got to be a kid. I mean, what harm could it do? I need a break anyway, so maybe you could consider it a favor for an old friend? Besides, your oldest boy is around his age. Maybe Envy will stop being an antisocial brat long enough to actually make a friend."

"Friends my ass," Ed muttered under his breath, causing everyone to look at him funny. He had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed that they were waiting on him to finish breakfast so they could leave. So Edward shoveled the last bites of pancake into his mouth and followed his family out to the shuttle bus. And who else was there to greet them but Envy himself. The sight of him and the lean muscles exposed in his cut off shirt sent a shiver down Edward's spine. _Whoa, _he thought. _Why am I getting all worked over seeing him? I must just be freaked out is all. There's no way I'd ever get excited in "that way" for a creep like him. Right?_

"Hi guys. Where are we heading first?" Envy said as they piled onto the bus. When Winry suggested going to MGM Studios (probably to check out the mechanics of the rollercoasters) everyone actually agreed for once. Ed tried to grab the seat next to Alphonese, but Winry ended up their first. He looked around desperately for an open spot on the bus. But he didn't find a single one. The height of tourist season caused sardine like cramming. The only spot left was the one Envy was saving with his sprawled out legs. And by the smile he gave Ed he knew that was the only place left. So he sat down next to Envy, knowing he didn't have much of a choice.

"Hey sexy. What's shaking?" asked Envy. Edward tried his hardest to ignore him, but he wasn't able to suppress the throbbing vein in his forehead. _It is way too easy to get a rise out of this kid. I'm going to have way too much fun messing with him_, thought Envy.

Edward had managed to keep his cool for the entire ride to MGM. A few times he felt his fists clench at Envy's tasteless jokes, but he somehow always stopped short of decking him in the face. Edward practically ran out of Envy's reach. As he ran forward he came face to face with his greatest fear.

Author Note: Next chapter will be up tomorrow. Guess what's gonna be in it. I'll give you a hint. Its citrus flavored.


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